A Tale of Randomness
by Googleeyes
Summary: What happens when all the POTO characters get magically transported to my house? Chaos! Really better and crazier than it sounds. I know this has been done before, but please read! ON HOLD
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**This is just a totally random idea I had after reading several fanfics. If it's so awful I should stop, let me know. It will get funnier in later chapters. I'm new here, so please don't kill me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than the DVD, as is mentioned in the story.**

Prologue:

"Jennifer, look. The Phantom has a big bubble up his nose, and it just popped!"

"Be quiet! This is supposed to be a sad scene!" Jennifer tried unsuccessfully to hold back her giggles as she imagined the picture.

"Well excuse me," Meghan replied as she pushed a strand of her shoulder-length dark brown hair out of her face.

Jennifer suddenly shoved one of her mismatched socks up to Meghan's face. "How do my feet smell?"

Meghan made a face and shuddered. "I can smell them through your socks."

Jennifer smiled, adjusting her cheap-looking bright green mask. Her blue glasses nearly fell off their post, balanced on top of the mask. She hastily pushed them back up, not wanting to miss a moment of the awesome phantomness. Gerik finished his scene on top of the roof and the screen faded to black. Jennifer paused the movie. She and Meghan were going to take a short intermission.

Meghan headed for the bathroom and Jennifer went to get a drink. She checked the clock as she got a glass out of the cupboard. It was nearly midnight. She filled her glass then wandered back to her bedroom. The movie was still paused and Meghan was still in the bathroom. Jennifer finished her water then took the glass back to the kitchen. As she put it in the sink, she noticed Meghan filling a cup with ice.

"Hurry up, I want to get back to the movie," Jennifer whined.

"Fine." Meghan grabbed her cup and they headed back to Jennifer's room. As they reached the hallway, the girls noticed that the movie had started to play again.

"Stupid haunted DVD," Jennifer muttered as she ran to re-pause it. She hurriedly pushed the right button and waited for Meghan to come back.

"You run like a chicken," Meghan said as she joined Jennifer in the nest-like area under Jennifer's loft bed.

"Do not." Jennifer turned the movie back on. Suddenly there was a bang from the dining room. "GRRRR, I bet that was Chloe being stupid. She interrupted 'Masquerade'!"

Meghan looked at her strangely. "She's just a dog, and it's just a song."

"It is not just a song!" Jennifer cried. "True it's not as good as 'Phantom of the Opera' or 'Music of the Night' or… whatever. But it's NOT just a song!"

"Sorry." Meghan glanced at the door. "We should probably go see what Chloe got into this time."

"Yeah, I think so too." The two girls crept out to the dining room, not wanting to wake anyone up. As they reached the hallway, they noticed that the TV was on.

"Did Chloe find out how to turn on the TV?" Meghan asked in surprise.

"Man, I hope not." Jennifer peeked around the corner and nearly passed out.

Standing in the middle of the dining room were Erik, Christine, Raoul, Madame Giry, Meg, Carlotta, Piangi, Nadir, Andre, Firmin, and a random French lady who was trying to flirt with Raoul.

**Thanks for reading! Please give me any suggestions or comments you have. So, yeah. I'll put up the next part when I have 3 reviews. Why 3? I have no idea. Review!**


	2. Chapter 2: Chaos and Treadmills

**Okay, I don't feel like waiting for reviews so here's the next chapter. I don't care if you don't like it, just review and tell me. I know this is kind of short, but hopefully the next chapter will be longer. **

**Disclaimer: If you owned this, would you be sitting around writing stories about it? I didn't think so. **

"Wow," Meghan exclaimed, "Now Phantom of the Opera really is haunting us.

Jennifer just stood and stared. Someone had figured out how to run on the TV and Christine, Raoul, Nadir, Meg, Firmin, and Madame Giry were all staring at it in amazement. Andre and Carlotta were watching Jennifer and Meghan's dog Chloe sleeping on the floor.

"Poodles are so-a much-a better," Carlotta exclaimed suddenly. Chloe's head jerked up. She took one look at Carlotta and sprinted away as fast as possible.

"You scared it away," Andre said angrily. "I wanted to poke it."

Carlotta stared at him, then waltzed over to the refrigerator. Piangi was digging through it, flinging out whatever didn't interest him. Chloe smelled the food and came running back, knocking over Carlotta. She eagerly began licking up all the food on the floor (Chloe, not Carlotta).

Erik was wandering around and came across the keyboard sitting opposite the computer. He tried pressing the keys, but got frustrated when it didn't make any noise. He picked it up and threw it across the room, hitting the random French lady. The plug from the keyboard hit Christine. She looked down and saw the French lady flattened underneath the keyboard.

"Oh my gosh! Raoul, there's a dead body under this grayish piano-looking thing!" She screamed in horror, slowly backing away from said corpse.

"Don't worry Christine, I'll save you!" Raoul lifted up the keyboard and shoved it into the dining room table. Then he picked up the body and threw it at the TV. When it hit the TV and nothing happened, he broke a window with his fist and threw the dead French lady out the window. He flashed Christine a dazzling smile and she fainted. Then Raoul noticed the stairs outside the window. "Ooo, stairs!"

Raoul jumped out the window and began sprinting up and down the stairs like a maniac. Christine hit the floor with a thud and woke up, rubbing her head.

"Raoul, you idiot! You were supposed to catch me!" She stomped off in the most dignified way possible and wandered into Jennifer's room, where she became instantly entranced with the TV in there.

Meanwhile, Jennifer had rushed over to the keyboard and was seeing if it was broken. "Raoul, you idiot! If you broke this keyboard you'll pay! If it's broken, I can't play Phantom of the Opera Music!"

Raoul attempted to laugh evilly, but ended up sounding like a cross between a donkey with a cold and a hyper chipmunk.

Meghan had been standing watching in amusement. She strolled over to the TV and saw that everyone was watching a rerun of an old Mickey Mouse show. Curious to see how everyone would react, she pointed to the treadmill and called out over the chaos, "I wonder what these buttons do."

"Yeah," Firmin agreed. "Let's push them all." He pushed as many buttons as possible at once and the treadmill started up. He pressed the button that said 12 and the Nadir went flying off. The treadmill was roaring and moving faster than seemed possible.

"Turn that thing off," Madame Giry yelled. "I can't hear the magic box with moving pictures!"

Meghan pushed the right button and the treadmill slowed down then stopped.

"Hey, Andre, come look at this!" Firmin had found the computer and moved the mouse to wake it up. Currently on screen was a webpage Jennifer had been looking at. "It has our names on it. See, right there." He pointed and Andre walked over to see what he was talking about.

"This thing says that I got married to you!" The managers looked at each other in surprise.

"Hmmm," Andre speculated. "That could be a good idea."

Firmin stared at him, then ran away to the treadmill.

"Honey, don't you love me too?" Once Andre reached the treadmill, Firmin turned it on and jumped off. Andre went flying into the china cabinet and landed in a heap at the bottom.

Suddenly a giant chocolate bar walked through the door and began singing, "I am the giant candy of doom! I am the giant candy of doom!" over and over again to the tune of Darth Vader's theme. Madame Giry wandered over to him.

"Why?"

"Well," the giant chocolate bar began a long and very strange story that for some reason put Madame Giry to sleep. "Oh, well. I think I'll go terrify that fat guy over there." It pointed to Piangi, who was trying to eat melted ice cream with his fingers.

Carlotta saw the chocolate bar approaching, then whispered, "We-a should-a probably run-a." He looked up and they both got up and ran straight into the sliding glass door.

Meghan had taken control of the computer and brought up a very detailed description of what phangirls would do if they got their hands on Erik. She left it open and wandered into Jennifer's room to watch Kim Possible with Christine. Nadir and Jennifer were fighting over an Erik plushie that had appeared out of thin air. Erik had discovered the computer and was now making very interesting noises as he read the phangirls' descriptions.

Jennifer suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Meghan standing behind her. "We need to figure out how to get them back."

Jennifer looked around at the overturned furniture, broken window, mess of food on the kitchen floor, and various scattered unconscious forms. "I agree…"

She was about to say more, but she was interrupted by Nadir squeezing the plushie, which began singing 'Music of the Night'.

Jennifer snatched it away. "Mine." She stowed the plushie in her pocket. "We definitely need to get them out of here."

**Review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Flashy Exit Strategies

**Okay, I'm posting even though I don't know if anyone's reading this. This is my first story on and I'd appreciate some feedback. So if you're reaing this, please review or something so I know you're there. I think I'll change the summary because it's kind of lame and I want people to read my story. Remeber (or learn), these are not the people from the movie. They're not supposed to be, anyway. Keep this in mind because they're going to watch the movie sometime in the future**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing other than myself. At least I think I own myself. But, I'm not so sure... **

Jennifer awoke with a jolt and looked around. She saw that she was lying on the brown couch in the living room. She was surprised she had made it that far. She had passed out last night out of pure exhaustion. Chasing after a bunch of people from the nineteenth century was a lot of work. She got up and looked around.

Andre was sprawled across the floor, sleeping like a baby. Everyone else seemed to have disappeared. Jennifer wandered through the house, which was even more of a mess than it had been last night, and looked for Meghan. She noticed that the door to the office was closed. Christine was sleeping with her mouth slightly open on the pile of pillows and blankets under Jennifer's bed. The TV was now playing Playhouse Disney shows. Jennifer turned it off in disgust. She headed down to Meghan's room. Meghan was inside painting something.

"Where is everyone?" she asked suspiciously.

Meghan looked up. "Well, last time I checked Christine was sleeping in your room, Andre was sleeping on the floor of the dining room, Meg turned the office and laundry room into a dance studio, Carlotta got locked in the coat closet by someone, Erik hijacked all the instruments and took them down to the garage so he could make his lair, Piangi went outside to buy more food and got hit by a bus, Raoul passed out on the stairs, and Nadir and Firmin had way too much sugar."

"Wow. Piangi got hit by a bus? Awesome! Wait, what about Madame Giry?"

Meghan shrugged. "She keeps randomly appearing then disappearing so I have no idea what she's been doing."

"Oh." Jennifer ran a hand through her short, curly brown hair. She was still trying to make her sleepy brain focus on what had happened. Christine, Andre, and Raoul were asleep, Meg made a dance studio, Madame Giry was popping up randomly, Piangi got hit by a bus, Nadir and Firmin were really hyper, and Erik had taken all the instruments into the garage to make his lair. Wait, all the instruments? Jennifer's eyes got wide. If he had taken her saxophone he would be in major trouble! She ran to her room and was relieved to see that her saxophone was sitting in the corner, right next to her POTO music book. But she still wanted to check out Erik's so-called lair. She headed downstairs.

She opened the door to the office and saw that it had been completely cleared out. The only thing left was the fan hanging from the ceiling. The laundry room was in similar condition. Meg was dancing across the floor.

"What did you do with all the furniture?" Jennifer nearly screamed.

Meg stopped dancing and stared at Jennifer. "You don't need to get mad; I threw it all down the stairs."

Jennifer hurried to the door opening onto the landing of the stairs that led to the garage. She sprinted down the stairs two at a time and saw most of the furniture lying in a heap near the closed garage door. Missing was her dad's computer, desk, and paper. The old couch that needed to be gotten rid of was also missing. _What has he done?_ She wondered as she approached a door in the side of the wall. She opened it and a Punjab lasso fell from the ceiling. She shoved the thing away and peered into Erik's "lair".

The storage space under the house had been turned into a pretty decent lair. The walls were draped with black cloth she had never seen before and the dirt floor had been cleared and swept. Leaning against one wall was the desk, computer, and paper rack. A bin had been pulled up to the desk to serve as a chair. Old softball equipment was piled up against the beams supporting the house and was blocking an area. Opposite the blocked area were the keyboard, guitar, two clarinets, and Meghan's violin. An organ was up against the wall. The music stand and multiple music books were also in this area.

A noise from behind startled Jennifer. She turned around to see Erik standing in the doorway, obviously irked to see her disturbing his privacy.

"Nice job. Love the black wall hangings; they're much neater looking than the piles of stuff behind them. Great job putting the softball stuff to good use. What's behind them, though?" Jennifer peeked behind the pile of stuff and saw the old couch hidden behind dark sheets similar to the ones from her parents' bed. Pictures of Christine were stuck up on the wall. "Interesting. But how'd you get the organ in here? It seems a bit big. Oh, whatever. I'll want back the keyboard, music stand, and one clarinet. You can keep everything else."

Erik just stood there as she stopped babbling and stared at him, waiting for an answer. "Oh, no. I'll be keeping everything. Now please escort yourself out of my lair and do not return. Thank you."

He ushered Jennifer out the door as she craned her neck, trying to get a last look at the lair. He shoved her outside and shut the door. "Stupid phantom," she muttered as she trudged back up the stairs. Once she opened the door a wonderful smell reached her. It smelled like cinnamon rolls.

She hurried upstairs. As she passed through the office and laundry room, she didn't see Meg. When she reached the main part of the house she saw why. Meg, Madame Giry, Andre, Raoul, Christine, and Nadir were crowded around the dining room table, eating cinnamon rolls. Raoul seemed a bit grumpy, and Nadir looked very tired as he huddled protectively around a cup of coffee, but everyone else was perky and cheerful.

"Is Carlotta still locked in the closet?" Jennifer asked Meghan, who was eating her own cinnamon roll in the kitchen.

"Um-hum," she replied through a mouthful of cinnamon roll.

"Where's Firmin?"

Meghan pointed out the window. Firmin was in the tree house trying to lift up Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast with the broken plastic basket. Cogsworth was running around in circles like an idiot. Suddenly there was a flash of light and Mulan appeared in the middle of the yard. She was dressed in full army regalia with her sword posed to strike. She lowered her sword and looked around. Raoul, having seen the sword, grabbed his own and ran out to the yard.

"Don't worry, I'll save you all!" he cried as he ran into a battle with Mulan. The swords clashed angrily as they fought. Everyone else outside cautiously backed up to the deck and stepped inside.

Firmin instantly sought a cinnamon roll to eat more sugar. Cogsworth started muttering to himself about all the strange people. Lumiere had wandered up to Christine and started flirting with her, in French. Suddenly everyone except Mulan started talking in French.

"Wow," Jennifer murmured, "I really wish I knew French. Oh wait, I know someone who knows French."

She suddenly conjured her middle-aged Latin teacher who immediately started adding to the madness. "Hey, Mr. Combs, can you translate for us!" she yelled, but he didn't hear her.

"Hey wait," Meghan began, "How did you conjure up Mr. Combs?"

"Easy," Jennifer replied. "I have Harry Potter's wand. I stole it from him a while ago and he didn't notice." To show off her awesome magic skills, Jennifer let Carlotta out of the closet and, before she could start complaining, turned her into a toad.

"Cool!" Meghan exclaimed. "But I think she would make a better pig."

"Okay" Carlotta was now a pig. "I liked her better as a toad," Jennifer suggested.

"Me too," Meghan agreed. Carlotta suddenly turned back into a toad. A loud bang interrupted their Carlotta torturing session and Jennifer and Meghan turned to see Harry Potter, Ron, and Hermione standing behind them.

"I want my wand back now!" Harry proclaimed loudly.

"Fine, but you're ruining all the fun," Jennifer complained as she reluctantly handed it over. Harry and his friends disappeared in a puff of smoke, taking Carlotta the Toad with them. By now the French Fest was over and people had started to wander away. Madame Giry had disappeared again and Raoul was still fighting Mulan. Suddenly there was a loud curse from outside and everyone turned to see Raoul lying on the ground. Mulan was standing over him, her hair flowing freely.

"I can't believe I got beat by a girl! This is totally gonna ruin my reputation!"

Everyone inside snickered, except for Mr. Combs, who was checking Jennifer's Spanish homework that was lying on the counter. He made several pencil marks before twirling around and fading into thin air.

"Why can't I have a cool exit thingy like that?" Jennifer complained. "Even Harry Potter has one."

Several people glanced at her for a moment before turning around to continue destroying the house.

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4: I Want a Time Machine!

**OMG!!! I got a review!!! **_Runs around in cirlces while doing the happy dance. Realizes what she's doing isn't possible then sneaks up behind the innocent reviewer, Ooggle Boggle, and hugs them until they pass out. _**Okay, now that that's over and done with, on with the story! **

**Oh, and if anyone thinks I'm being impatient, you're right. I've got a bunch of this story already written so I'll be updating daily until I reach a point where I still have to write.**

** Also, there will be a phan attack later in the story, so if you want to be involved, review. In your review tell me your age, what you want to be called, your gender, what you're wearing and what you look like, any special items you wish to have, and who your favorite character is. By the way, once you ask to be in my story, your soul is mine! Or, at least your personality. **

**Now, on with the story!**

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Several days and many destroyed rooms later, Jennifer and Meghan were finally getting fed up with all the people in their house. Fortunately, Piangi had not come back from the dead; however, Harry did show back up to deposit Carlotta at the mailbox. Apparently she'd annoyed him out of his mind and beaten the Fat Lady in multiple singing contests. (Unlike a certain chubby pink someone, Carlotta actually can break glass with her singing.) The house was even more messed up than anyone had actually thought possible.

Jennifer and Meghan, both at the ends of their ropes, decided to ask their neighbor across the street for help. Meghan decided to do it since Jennifer was nearly as insane as everyone else. She carefully crossed the road and walked up Chip's driveway. He was working in his garage.

"Chip," she asked sweetly, using her ten-year-old mind control powers on him, "Can you build us a time machine."

The dark-haired man looked up. "A time machine?"

"Yes. Right now our house is being overrun by nineteenth century characters that somehow got transported through time."

Her explanation was rewarded with a blank stare.

Meghan sighed in exasperation. "Fine, if you want proof, I'll bring you some." She dashed back across the street. She came back holding the wrist of the first person she could find. This person happened to be Firmin, who had discovered the wonders of caffeine.

"I-really-really-really-like-coffee! It-gives-you-so-much-energy-you-never-have-to-sleep-again! I-haven't-slept-in-almost-a-week! But-I-have-so-much-energy! I-can't-stop-giggling-like-a-girl-at-random-moments! I-worship-coffee-and-whoever-invented-caffeine!" He blurted out in one breath. This sentence was followed by a long stream of very girlish giggles. He then collapsed of oxygen deprivation.

"Okay, bad example. I'll go get someone else." Meghan dragged the unconscious body across the street, left it lying in the middle of the driveway, and grabbed someone else. However, when she looked up, she saw that it was Garrett. He was her sister's favorite character from a movie called Quest for Camelot. "What are you doing here?!"

He shrugged. "I just felt like it. No one would leave me alone. Really, you become a knight of the Round Table and suddenly everyone wants your autograph." He continued mumbling under his breath and plodded back toward the house.

Meghan groaned and grabbed Raoul, who had been prowling the yard. His long hair was singed with black. "What happened to your hair?" she asked before taking him across the street. She had decided not to take anyone who was acting really mental.

"I tried to cook something in the oven. Jennifer turned it on, but she never told me not to stick my head in there to check on the food. What am I going to do now? I can't be heroic with burned hair." Raoul turned around and started sobbing.

Meghan rolled her eyes and walked until she found Jennifer. "I need to find someone reasonably sane to take over to Chip's house; he doesn't believe me. Oh, and would you mind telling me what happened to everyone in the twenty minutes I left them alone with you?"

"Sure" Jennifer replied. She looked up to gather her thoughts, then answered, "Firmin overdosed on coffee; Nadir set the microwave on fire; Raoul set his hair on fire; I think Christine's become addicted to TV; Andre's been trying to chase Firmin around with a plastic ring, he's sleeping on the couch right now; Carlotta used up all the paper in the copy machine making pictures of her face; Chloe tried to lick everyone to death, but passed out when she tasted Carlotta; Meg wanted to walk on the treadmill, but couldn't figure out how to work it, so she discovered your art stuff; I think Erik discovered Phansites, very not good, and is now very adept at using the computer; and Madame Giry won't stop reading my books for some reason. I got bored, so I've been watching everyone."

Meghan groaned. "Okay, since it sounds like almost everyone's pretty crazy right now, who do you think is sane enough to convince Chip to build us a time machine?"

Jennifer considered the question. "Hmmm, I'd probably say Madame Giry or Meg, if you can drag them away from what they're doing; if you can't, probably Nadir, though he's kind of traumatized from the microwave."

"Great! Where are they?"

"Madame Giry's in my room, on the top bunk reading books. Meg's in your room. I think Nadir's wandering around the house, or possibly the garage. However, I recommend you be very, very careful if you go down to the garage; last time I tried to go down, I nearly got killed by some trapdoor thing." Jennifer shuddered. "It just came right out from under my feet."

Meghan looked scared. "I won't go down to the garage unless I have to. Thanks for warning me."

She walked up to the glass door by the dining room. She thought about Jennifer's warning as she went to her room. Spooky.

Meg was sitting on the floor doodling letters with Meghan's calligraphy set. Meghan convinced her to leave and took her over to Chip's house. Meg put up a very convincing argument and Chip eventually decided to build a time machine. Meghan rejoiced. She might finally be able to get these freaks out of her house!

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**Please review! Remember, cameos! And possibly candy!**


	5. Chapter 5: Organ Fights and Food

**Okay, after this chapter the updates may come a bit slower. The Phan Attack will probably be in chapter 7. So far I have 1 phan who will attack. Anyone eles who wants to be invovlved, review. That's about it. Here's the next chapter!**

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Jennifer regarded the scene before her. All the sugar and caffeine she had given everyone was finally starting to work! Andre and Firmin, finally over his sugar rush, were draped over the brown couch. Jennifer could hear Carlotta snoring through the door of the coat closet. Meg and her mother were lying on an inflatable air mattress brought up for this occasion. Christine had fallen asleep in front of the TV again; this girl's addiction was starting to get serious. Raoul was sleeping with his mouth wide open on Meghan's bed. Meghan was probably bugging Chip about the time machine again. Nadir was lying on the floor; he hadn't quite made it to a bed. Erik was doing something in his "lair". He was the only one Jennifer hadn't been able to give sugar to.

Jennifer had just begun writing something on her laptop when she heard organ music blaring. That was nothing new. However, she thought she could discern two voices arguing. _That _was something new.

Jennifer crept down the driveway and retrieved the garage door opener from her mom's car. She pushed the button and the door began loudly sliding open. Jennifer cringed. She glanced at the windows. Thankfully, no lights were on. She snuck into the garage, though whoever was in there obviously knew she was there, and headed for the door opening into the storage space.

Erik and Davy Jones were fighting over the organ. It was very entertaining to watch.

"Get out of my way you slobbering sea beast! I was here first!"

"I'll go where I please! Now it's my turn to play it!"

"But I got it down here! I brought it for myself!"

"Too bad! Now move!" Davy drew his sword. Erik drew his, but held a Punjab lasso behind his back with his free hand. They fought. Jennifer watched for several minutes before becoming bored, perhaps by the lack of suspenseful music, and headed back upstairs.

Several people were now awake and roaming the house. Apparently the sugar and caffeine could only keep them asleep for so long. Carlotta was banging on the door of her closet and begging to be let out. Raoul was attempting to restore his hair to its original state so he could look fittingly heroic. Ron Weasley had shown back up and was trying to cook what looked like macaroni on the stove. It wasn't looking or smelling very pleasant, but at least he hadn't set his hair on fire.

Everyone seemed to be hungry. Christine had dragged herself away from Jennifer's TV to make cereal, though she was progressing at a painfully slow rate since she was only pouring the cereal and milk during commercials. Meg was trying to open a package of peanuts she had found in the snack cupboard. Nadir was eating cold leftovers. Firmin was searching for a spoon while his ice cream melted in the container. Madame Giry was attempting to operate the microwave so she could cook her frozen burrito. Andre was eating whipped cream straight out of the bottle. Uh oh.

"Andre!" Jennifer yelled. "Stop! Eat something that's not loaded with sugar for once. Ron, find Meghan so she can teach you how to properly cook mac and cheese. Meg, either look for the little opening thing or use scissors. Nadir, those leftovers will taste much better if you heat them up in the microwave first…"

Nadir interrupted. "Noooo! Not the microwave!" He looked at the microwave as though it would reach out and grab him. Suddenly the microwave actually began emitting sparks. Nadir ran and hid in a corner. "It's happening again!"

Jennifer glanced at the appliance.Then she looked at the fire extinguisher on the wall. After several seconds, her brain seemed to make the connection and she grabbed the fire extinguisher and walked over to the microwave. She pulled the little pin thing and weird foamy stuff came out. Once the fire extinguisher as empty and the microwave had ceased to emit sparks, Jennifer opened the slightly charred door. Lying on the rotating plate was a smoking paper plate with a burned burrito and a metal fork.

"Who put a fork in the microwave?!"

Madame Giry slowly raised her hand. "He told me to," she replied, pointing at Nadir.

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "No wonder you caught the microwave on fire. Okay everyone, rule of thumb, NEVER put metal or aluminum foil in the microwave. It will spark and possibly catch on fire. Plus, if you burn down the microwave or house I will have to pay for everything and you will be VERY sorry. Do I make myself clear?"

Everyone nodded their heads slowly, carefully backing away from Jennifer.

"Good." Jennifer turned on her heel and left with an imaginary swish of her imaginary cape. Everyone stared after her.

"What's her problem?" Nadir asked Meg. The ballerina shrugged and returned to her peanuts.

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**Review for cameos!**


	6. Chapter 6: A New Girl in the House

**Ok, here's the next chapter. This picks up right after the last chapter. Just so you know, I got the idea of Jane while watching Star Wars. When they said Han Solo's last name, I thought it sounded like swallow. This got me thinking of sparrow, whch led to a female version of Jack Sparrow. I just felt I needed to put that in in ****case anyone was curious. The Phan Attack is next chapter! Last chance for cameo reuests!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination. Which is so wild I'm considering putting it in a zoo.**

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Meghan, who had been watching from the shadows, waited until she was sure everyone was cooking or eating safely before leaving the dining room. She headed down the hallway, humming softly as she stepped over the various objects lying on the floor. She reached her room and stepped inside. She set down the book she had been carrying and looked around. She gasped.

There was someone snooping around Meghan's dresser. Meghan couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl because its hair was obscured by the large, weathered brown tricorn hat it wore. It was wearing a long brown coat and black pants tucked into tall brown boots that flared out at the top. The person rustled through Meghan's things while Meghan stood and gaped. After several minutes, she worked up the courage to talk to the person.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my room?"

The person tuned around and Meghan could see it was a girl. The girl smiled at Meghan, showing several rotten teeth, and mock-bowed. "I'm Captain Jane Swallow, at yer service. Well, at yer service as I choose."

Jane took off her jacket and hat and tossed them on Meghan's bed. Her tangled black hair spilled over her old-style white shirt and blue-grey vest. She tossed a necklace back and forth between her hands.

"What's this made of? It looks valuable," Jane asked as she ran the necklace through her fingers.

"Sorry, it's just painted plastic. Why are you in my room?"

Jane shrugged. "How should I know? One minute I'm on me ship ordering me crew around, the next I'm here. Here, with all his expensive looking jewelry. And money."

Meghan gasped and wrenched her piggy bank away from Jane's greedy hands. "You can NOT steal my money! I've got over a hundred dollars in here, and I intend to keep it all."

Jane sighed and crawled over Meghan's bed. She made her way to the door. "Ye got anythin' to drink around here?"

Meghan followed Jane. "Water."

Jane sighed. "That'll have to do." She strode swiftly through the hallway, glancing in each door as she passed. Once she reached the end and was faced with a three-way crossroads, she turned to Meghan for advice. "Well?"

Meghan gestured toward the left. "This way."

They walked out and saw that everyone was luckily still alive. Most people had finished eating and were creating chaos again. Andre was hyped up from the whipped cream and chasing Chloe around the room. Firmin was hyped up from the ice cream and was chasing Andre around the room. Christine was staring at the TV. Nadir had recovered from the microwave incident and decided that the china plates made good Frisbees. Meg and Madame Giry were playing a three-way Frisbee game with Nadir. Ron had disappeared. Carlotta was banging on the door of her closet again. Piangi's ghost was roaming around the ceiling.

Jane stood and stared at everyone like they were crazy, which was true.

While Jane was staring, Meghan got her water; she shoved it into the still staring girl' hand and left. Meghan wandered around the house. She decided to examine Meg's ballet studio. She glanced around the gutted room and tested the strength of the handmade ballet materials. She was just about to leave when the garage door creaked open.

Meghan turned around to see Erik and Davy Jones, arm in arm, heading toward her.

"Why are you guys acting all friendly? I thought Jennifer mentioned you fighting."

Both shrugged at the same time. "We made up," they replied in unity.

"Apparently," Meghan muttered. She watched the pair make their way down the hall, presumably heading for the kitchen. Mumbling something about 'stupid, organ-playing characters Jennifer's obsessed with', Meghan headed back to her room. However, she suddenly heard a strange rumbling sound. "Uh-oh," she muttered. "This cannot be good."

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**Oooh! A cliffie! Sorry for anyone who's mad. I just thought I should divide it into two parts. Yeah. Last chance for cameo requests! Oh, I'll also take Cpt. Jack Sparrow fans who mistake Jane for him. And Davy Jones fans. Please review! **


	7. Chapter 7: Phangirls Attack!

**I'm back with another chapter! It's been about a week, but I started another story: 2004 Movie Bloopers. It's pretty funny. You should read it. **

**Okay, now that that advertising's over, a few notes. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I only got a few cameo requests, so I made up most of the unnamed fangirls/phangirls. Some phangirls will be in the next chapter. That's about it. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned POTO, the world would be an extremely strange place.

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_Review:_ Mumbling something about 'stupid, organ-playing characters Jennifer's obsessed with', Meghan headed back to her room. However, she suddenly heard a strange rumbling sound. "Uh-oh," she muttered. "This cannot be good."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The rumbling soon increased and eventually became the distinguishable sound of many pairs of running feet. The sound grew and grew until it sounded as if hundreds of people were right outside the back door. Meghan cautiously approached it and drew back the curtain. In front of her were hundreds of insane-looking girls.

They had formed what seemed to be some kind of battle formation and were stomping their feet in time to the beat of a drum. Many of the girls were either wearing all black or some kind of Phantom of the Opera merchandise. They seemed to be chanting.

"You've got to be kidding me," Meghan announced to thin air. "Phangirls? How much more stupid can this story get?"

"**My story is not stupid!**" a booming voice shouted out.

"Huh? Who's there?" Meghan asked in confusion.

"**I am the all-powerful authoress! Now let the phangirls in or I'll lock you in Carlotta's closet! With her still in it!**"

Meghan looked a bit disturbed, but refused to obey the disembodied voice. "I don't care! I'll throw the Phantom into a black hole of doomed vorxtexness."

The voice gasped "**You wouldn't! Fine! If you won't let the phangirls in, I will!**"

The door magically opened and the phangirls surged in. The first to enter was a girl in an overly long black shirt and jeans. Grey eyes shone out from beneath her dark blonde hair. She was staring viciously at Meghan and brandishing a pair of scissors.

"Where's Erik? I want my Erik! He's the awesomestawesomeynessyest character ever! If you don't give me my Erik I'll get you with my scissors!" To exaggerate her point, the girl jabbed her scissors dangerously close to Meghan.

Meghan took a few steps backward. "I'll drag him up here for you if you stop waving those scissors around and answer some questions. First of all, who are you and what are you all doing here?"

"I'm Sumi and I'm the leader of this phangirl attack. We want to glomp and huggle and kiss and do multiple other things to our favorite characters."

"I want to find cookie friends!" someone called out from the back of the crowd.

"And I want to have a word with this so-called Erik," a male voice called out from behind the mass of girls, sounding somewhat near the one that had mentioned the cookies.

"Guys, be quiet already. She'll never let us in if we don't shut up." A short, somewhat chunky girl in a black shirt, black hoodie, black flip-flops and dark blue jeans shoved her way through the crowd and went up to Meghan. She pushed a strand of brown hair out of her face. "I'm Miranda. Sorry about my muses. They never know when to shut up."

Just then Raoul walked past the door. Several girls began squealing. Several others drew rope lassos and advanced menacingly toward him. Soon people began shouting.

"OMG! It's Raoul!! Raoul I love you!"

"Track down this evil fop! He must be found!"

"Raoul, will you marry me?!"

"Ataaaack!"

"Have you seen your older bother?"

Raoul glanced at the group of advancing girls and ran, screaming like a wimp, far away as quickly as possible. However, he soon realized how unheroic he was acting and tried to find his horse. This was when the mass of shrieking girls caught up with him. Meghan hastily averted her eyes and looked to the remainder of the group. "Who are you looking for?" she asked the group in general.

"ERIK!!!"

"Philippe!"

"Phantom!"

"Cookie friends!"

"Erik and chocolate!"

"Meg!

"That hot guy in the mask!"

"Nadir!"

"Madame Giry!"

"Coffee and sugar!"

"The Persian!"

"Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"Sorrelli!"

"The managers!"

"All right, all right! I get it!" Meghan called out. Everyone slowly quieted down. Meghan momentarily disappeared. She returned with all the characters. Even Carlotta, who had finally been let out of her closet. "Find your desired character and feel free to do whatever you like. I'm sorry, but Philippe, Jack Sparrow, and Sorrelli aren't here. There are Girl Scout cookies on the table and coffee somewhere. Have fun!"

The crazed phans and fans rushed for their favorite characters. Soon everyone except Carlotta was surrounded by fans, though some had more than others. Meghan stood back and watched the scene with amusement.

Firmin was attacking the cookies along with what appeared to be a giant cookie man asking the cookies to be his friends. Andre was having a discussion with Debbienne, Poligny, Richard and Moncharmin, who had somehow appeared. A few fans were trying to interrupt their conversation. Erik was completely covered by a pile of crazed phans. Nadir was entertaining several curious girls. Meg was giving away free ballet lessons and answering questions during occasional breaks. Madame Giry was assisting Meg and talking to her own fans. Suddenly Jane walked into the living room, chatting with Davy Jones and a man whom Meghan didn't recognize.

"Oh my gosh! It's Jack Sparrow!" A girl cried out from her lonely place by the door. She ran up to Jane followed by another girl. A couple more girls rushed up to Davy Jones. A few also decided that the other man was Philippe de Chagny and began attacking him. Meghan started laughing her head off and couldn't stop.

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**Sorry if the ending seemed a bit lame or if the chapter was kind of short. My sister's been pressuring me to get off the computer and do something with her. I decided to give in eventually.**

**I'd just like to say how much I appreciate everyone who reviews. I love you all! So please review and make me a happy authoress.**


	8. Chapter 8: Aftermath of the Invasion

**Sorry I haven't updated for a while. It's been like...about 15 days. (I just counted) I'm glad you people are reading my story and new reviewers will probably get a cameo, even though the phangirl attack is over. Example: la vampire susan, who reviewed after I wrote the attack. Yeah. I think that's it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did, I would be very happy. But, sadly , I don't. Get over it.

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Jennifer stared in amazement at the huge pile of rubble before her. "How did this happen? Wow, I can't leave you alone for more than ten minutes without you destroying the house."

Meghan glared angrily at her. "I didn't do this. The stupid authoress let in the phangirls and fangirls. They practically ripped the house from its foundation. They're evil! Evil I tell you! Evil!"

"Okay, okay, I get it."

Suddenly they heard a groan. The girls turned around to see Raoul struggling around the corner. His hair was a disaster, his clothes were shredded, he had a black eye, scratches covered his body, and he had rope burns on his neck.

Jennifer stared at him. "What happened to you?"

Raoul moaned. "They attacked me! Some ran up and tried to kiss me and asked me to marry them. Then they started chanting 'Glomp Raoul! Glomp Raoul!'. Oh my gosh! Then they tackled me! By then, other girls had come up and they tried to kill me! They tried to strangle me with lassos and attacked me with swords. I swear one girl was using my sword. It was horrible! I barely escaped with my life!"

Meghan rolled her eyes. "Yeah right, drama king. Your fangirls killed each other fighting over you. Then the other ones got bored and left. I think they went looking for Erik. Speaking of Erik, he's in even worse condition. Jane, Christine, Davy Jones, and Philippe got attacked too."

As if on cue, Jane walked into the room. She groaned and clutched her head. She looked up at the group. "Ugh, I hate those girls." She was swaying and almost lost her balance. To stop herself from falling, Jane grabbed the arm of the couch. "They thought I was some bloke called Jack Sparrow. I don't even know the guy!"

Jennifer suddenly jumped in. "Oh, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow is a really famous guy from Pirates of the Caribbean and he-"

Meghan cut her off. "Just shut up! Stop talking about Pirates of the Caribbean. Well, I should be glad that House isn't here."

"Huh?" an unfamiliar voice asked. Jennifer, Meghan, Raoul, and Jane turned around. Dr. House was standing in the kitchen.

Meghan slapped her hand to her head. "OH MY GOSH! Jennifer's obsessions are haunting me!!!"

She jumped up and ran to her room as fast as humanly possible. Jennifer stared after her. "Wow, she's kind of overreacting."

"Well, what do you want?" House asked.

Jennifer looked at him in confusion. "I really have no idea. You just randomly showed up."

"Oh. Well at least this gets me out of clinic duty. Have you seen my gameboy?"

Jennifer ran into her room and grabbed Meghan's PSP. "No, I haven't. But you can use Meghan's PSP. She'll probably be in her room for a while."

"Cool." House took the PSP and started playing it. Jennifer watched him for a few seconds then began cleaning up. As much as she hated it, the house was a disaster.

Suddenly Jennifer heard a thud. She turned around to see Raoul lying on the floor. Jane was staring down at him. "I think he fainted. I have no clue why."

Jennifer grinned evilly. "Well, now that he's passed out, let's lock him in something. Maybe a closet, or a small room, or an airtight box with no sources of light-"

"Or we could set him on the stairs and see what happens when he wakes up," Jane suggested.

Jennifer got a maniacal gleam in her eyes. "Yes, but let's put swim fins on him."

"Why?"

Jennifer shrugged. "I don't know. I think I saw it in a TV show."

"What is this?" House called out.

"Super Monkey Ball something," Jennifer replied. She picked up Raoul's feet and started dragging him to the front door. She looked at Jane. "Are you gonna help me?"

Jane nodded and picked up Raoul's head. They pulled him halfway down the stairs then shoved on the swim fins. They started giggling like idiots and ran back up to the house. When they returned, a strange girl was wandering around the house.

"Who are you?" Jennifer asked.

The girl looked around then replied, "I'm la vampire susan. I heard there was a phan attack here. Where are the phans?"

"I'm sorry, you just missed them."

La vampire susan sighed. "Aw man! I wanted so badly to attack Erik. Where is he?"

Jennifer looked at Jane and both girls exchanged puzzled looks. "Probably in his lair, under the house. If you can find him and survive, you can attack him and glomp him and whatever as much as you like."

"Great!" La vampire susan rushed off to look for the entrance to Erik's lair. Jennifer returned to cleaning and Jane turned on the TV.

"HOUSE!" an angry voice called. "You're skipping clinic duty again!"

Dr. Cuddy strode into the living room and grabbed House by his collar. She tried to drag him away.

"What are you doing?" he asked loudly.

"You owe me 43 hours of clinic duty. Not even a dimensional barrier will stop me from making you follow through with it."

House looked alarmed at the amount of owed clinic hours and tried to think of an excuse before Cuddy murdered him. "Why are you making me pay back my clinic hours at the hospital when there are so many injured people here? They got attacked by an army of insane girls."

Cuddy looked around. "Oh, you're right. Change of plans: you help the people here, then do your clinic hours. All 43 of them."

"WHAT?!"

"Yes, you have to help people without getting repaid for it. Now go. I'm watching you." She started shoving him toward the couch, where Jane was watching TV. "Start with her."

"She's going to kill me!" a panicked voice from outside yelled. Everyone near the window looked out. Erik was being chased by la vampire susan.

"I won't kill you, sweetie! I love you! Please marry me! If you say no I'll glomp you again! And then I'll climb onto the roof and drop you! Muahahaha!"

Jennifer's eyes widened and she slowly backed away from the window. "Okay then. That girl's dead serious too. Wow. Someone's a little crazy."

"Wait!" la vampire susan called. "I wouldn't actually drop you! I don't know what I'd do, but I love you! Be mine, Ewik-poo!"

Cuddy tried to ignore the snickering of Jennifer, Jane and House. "House! Helping people, now!"

House slowly stopped snickering and rolled his eyes. "Make me."

"If you don't I'll add five more hours of clinic time."

"On second thought, this should be pretty easy. I'll do it."

"NOW! Get to it!" Cuddy shouted. Grumbling, House went over to Jane and took out a pair of gloves.

"How lovely."

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**Please review! Cameos still open! I love you all! Good night! (Or morning, or afternoon, or evening, or whatever.)**


	9. Chapter 9: The War of the Kitchen Tools

**I'm SO sorry for not updating sooner. I was working on a few other stories and reading other stories, as usual. I also had a bit of writer's block. Anyway, here's the next chapter. **

**The Michael Crawford part is something my sister came up with when we were listening to the OLC soundtrack. She thought he sounded like a girl, which made me angry. We've had some onteresting arguments since then.**

**Disclaimer: House promised me he'd give me the rights to POTO when he takes over the world. But, until then, I can only dream.

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"Michael Crawford is an alto!!" Meghan shouted as she ran through the now slightly cleaner house.**

"HE IS NOT!!!!!" Jennifer shouted as loudly as she possibly could while chasing Meghan with a broom. "He's a tenor!!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"No he's not! He's an alto!" Meghan shouted as a last attempt before running outside and locking the door.

"HE IS NOT AN ALTO!!!!" Jennifer shouted through the glass. When this received no response other than Meghan laughing at her, Jennifer simply gave up and wandered off. In the midst of her wandering she passed House, who was bandaging up Raoul. Cuddy's eyes never left him.

"You're not doing it right!" she exclaimed, shoving House's hand away from Raoul's arm. She began adjusting the bandage herself.

"Well excuse me for making a simple mistake after nearly two days of no food, water, bathroom breaks, or sleep," he replied irritably.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Maybe if you had gotten more done you would have gotten a break."

"Are you kidding? I got as much done as possible, especially after I realized I was going to be your prisoner until everyone was taking care of! It's not my fault the idiot in the mask got beaten to a pulp by insane teenage girls!" House was now shaking in anger and various other negative emotions.

Jennifer, who had been watching the whole scene in interest, decided to chime in. "Hey Cuddy, I think he needs a break. If he's messing up on band-aids, I'd hate to think what he'd do for more serious injuries." Cuddy's eyes widened as she considered this possibility. "Give the guy a bathroom break."

Cuddy sighed. "Fine, I see your point. House, you can have a ten-minute break. Once you finish with this…man, you can get some sleep."

House looked like he was about to do some kind of celebratory dance, but he was too tired so he just nodded weakly and finished applying Raoul's band-aids. This wasn't too hard since Raoul was still unconscious. As soon as Cuddy dismissed him, he hurried to the bathroom. Jennifer watched him with slight amazement. Who knew someone that tired could move that quickly?

"Help!" Someone wailed from Jennifer's room. Jennifer hurried to her room, worried that something bad might have happened. She opened the door to see Christine standing in front of the TV, which someone had turned off. "It's dead!" she cried, pointing to the TV.

Jennifer rolled her eyes and pushed the power button. The TV turned on. "There, are you happy?"

Christine stared. "Oh my gosh! It's alive! It's a miracle! No, it's magic!" However, Christine soon forgot the whole fiasco as she became entranced with the happenings of the simple world of Higglytown.

Jennifer suppressed a gag and exited the room as fast as humanly possible. She was shutting the door to her room when someone snuck up behind her and smacked her very hard on the back of her head with a frying pan. She fell to the floor.

"At last!" a very insane-looking Raoul cried. "Revenge is mine! She got what she deserved. That swim fin incident scarred me for life. I may never go near a pool again."

"That, sir, would not be a bad thing. You cannot swim and will never survive Erik's lair if you don't learn to keep your hand at the level of your eyes!" Someone yelled as Raoul was hit over the head with another frying pan. Madame Giry grinned evilly. "You deserved it."

"Stop taking over my role!" Nadir called out as he ran up to Madame Giry and whacked her with yet another frying pan. "Hey, Christine was right. Watching TV really does pay off. It gave me the wonderful frying pan idea."

"No it didn't! You stole that idea from me and you stole my frying pan!" Meg came up and hit Nadir with a spaghetti strainer. "Oops," she mumbled as he slid to the floor. "I didn't mean to hit you that hard."

"You can never catch me and my Cup Army of Doom!" Andre shouted as he ran down the hallway, pelting Firmin with plastic cups. "We are invincible! I will not be… whoops."

Meg slithered to the floor in an unusually graceful way for someone who has just been knocked out by a hard plastic cup. Not noticing Andre's mistake, Firmin continued running and crashed into the wall. Andre just stared.

"I have a mixing bowl! I have a mixing bowl! And you can't have it!" Jane sang as she ran toward Jennifer's door with a mixing bowl on her head. However, she hadn't realized that wearing a red mixing bowl as a space helmet would limit her visibility and ran into the stationary Andre. He went ballistic and started chucking cups everywhere, knocking out Jane, Cuddy, and la vampire susan, who dematerialized when she hit the floor. In his shock at seeing someone slowly melt away, Andre fainted and his cups went flying all over the hallway.

Meanwhile, House was formulating a plan for world conquest in his sleep-deprived brain. So far it involved spatulas and massive amounts of yo-yos. He had gathered the spatulas, but couldn't seem to find enough yo-yos. As he turned the corner, House saw all the unconscious people on the floor (hereafter known as The Pile). Slightly freaking out, he rushed up to The Pile waving his spatulas like a raving lunatic.

"I'll save you! I'll save you! I have spatulas and I know how to use them!" Desperately hoping it would convince Cuddy, who was in the pile, to let him off easy, he scrambled toward The Pile while ranting continuously about spatulas. Not noticing the stray cups, he tripped and lay on the floor. Carlotta wandered up and smacked him in the head with a plastic plate, just for the amusement of it.

The book characters from the phan attack took one look at The Pile in the hallway, with Carlotta roaming amongst it, and promptly jumped out the nearest window. She didn't even notice them or hear the telltale splats. Finally becoming bored, she went to the refrigerator and grabbed several cans of whipped cream, for protection.

Erik and Davy Jones had finally decided to venture from the dark space beneath the house. They chatted amicably as they passed The Pile. They wouldn't have noticed it if Carlotta hadn't decided to screech at them as they passed.

"What-a happened here-a? I-a know-a you had someting to do weeth thees, Meester Phantom," she called out.

Erik turned to look at her. "What are you talking about?" He looked down. "What happened to them?"

"Dat ees exactly what-a I-a asked you!" Carlotta screeched. She kicked Firmin with the edge of her pointy shoe. Realizing the entertainment value in this, she continued doing it.

"I'm sure that man wouldn't appreciate that if he were conscious," Davy Jones pointed out.

Carlotta shrugged. "So-a what. He-a is-a _not_ conscious, and he-a ees my-a manager. He-a has to put-a up-a with-a me."

"Watch it," Erik warned. "If you hurt him too badly he can't pay me."

"Want me to take care of her?" Jones asked. "She is a bit…shrill."

"Be my guest," Erik replied, stepping aside. Jones picked up one of House's spatulas and hit Carlotta with it. When nothing happened, he tried again. And again. And again. He kept trying until he realized that it wasn't working.

"It's not working!" he cried, stating the obvious. "She's immune to pain!"

Erik rolled his eyes. "Then just do this." He threw a Punjab lasso around her neck and pulled until she passed out from lack of air. "Apparently she needs to breathe."

Davy Jones pivoted in his heel and stared at Erik. "What did you do that for? I could have taken her out on my own."

"Perhaps you could have, but I have neither the time nor the patience to wait until you did," Erik replied coldly.

"What are you talking about? You don't have any time restraints. What's so important that you need to choke a diva when I perfectly well could have dealt with her on my own?"

"That is none of your business."

Jones glared at him more coldly. "None of my business, eh? I don't think so." He gripped the spatula harder. Erik rolled his eyes again and Jones hit him with the spatula. Erik glared back and set his Punjab down. He had already told Jones how to avoid it. He picked up his own spatula. Soon the two were having a vicious spatula war. Within minutes, The Pile was two bodies taller.

Meghan had finally decided to come back inside. Walking toward her room, she noticed how oddly quiet it was. She turned the corner and saw The Pile. She walked up to it and examined the unconscious bodies lying amongst the crowd of kitchen utensils.

"Oh, good. It's my mixing bowl. I've been looking for this to make my brownies." She picked up the red bowl off Jane's head and went to the kitchen to make brownies.

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**Please review! Everyone who reviews is officially awesome.**


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